Jokes : Ni bukan dah demam, nih dah merepek!!

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A very lengthy, time-waster, mind-boggling and need to have asprin by your side. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT read this during office hours OR read it directly from the monitor. Best way to fill up the gap is to print this mail and read it while you are sitting on your thrown ;)... sakit mata wa tak tanggung!!

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Proceed with caution. You have been warned!

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The title of the series is Tales From The Idol Fellowship.

This series of cerpens involving Vince and Khai of Akademi Fantasia season one. Zainal Alam Kadir is a guest star. This vision is entirely fictitious but it may turn out to be true. I had it while I was recuperating from a bad flu at home over the weekend.

The vision: Zainal Alam Kadir (Alam) of MM successfully arranges for Akademi Fantasia (AF) pretty boys Vincent Chong (Vince) and Khairul Nizam Wahi (Khai) to perform alongside the top three winners of American Idol 3 (AI3) in NY, US. Producers of AF and AI3 cut a deal earlier this year, unknown to the media save Alam, for Vince and Khai to appear in a special edition for Malaysian viewers only, of AI3. The title is "American Idol 3 Special Edition:

"Fantasia Meets The Academy".

Alam phones home: While in the US, Alam gets to share a hotel room with Vince. How wonderful, Alam thinks. In the room, Alam makes a long distance call to John Tiong in Buzz. John tells Alam all is OK back home in Balai Berita. Khai gets to share his hotel room with Nemo, his adorable white pussycat.

So, how it went with Vince Chong: Being the champion of AF, Vince, 25, was mentored by the soulful and perfectionist Fantasia (Barrino), 20, the champion of AI3. Vince proved a fast learner, and had a music video collaboration with Fantasia completed rather quickly. No hitches. America's newest pop queen thinks Vince will go far in Malaysian music because of his gentle and kind demeanour, and his humility.

So, how it went with Khai: Softy Khai, 25, thought he would have an easy time being mentored by the second and third AI3 winners, namely the bubbly Mexican Diana (DeGarmo), 17, and the demure Filipino Jasmine (Trias), 18, respectively. But they were rather hard on softy Khai, who had a problem being sloppy, sleepy and worse, possessing a minor acne problem. Khai gets tickled by his cute mentors (electric shock of sorts) each time he says he is tired and needs a rest.

They also pinch his acne out, a painful 10- minute process, so that he looks smooth-faced enough for the camera. Nemo, Khai's faithful cat, is taken care of by some AI3 staff in the floor above Khai's studio. Khai tries to visit Nemo upstairs, but a power failure ensues as soon as the lift reaches the above floor. Khai finds that he is claustrophobic, and becomes a little panicky and breathless. Fortunately, the power failure only lasts a few minutes, and even more fortunately, Khai's beautiful mentors are with him in the lift, to keep him calm.

At the end of the day, Khai sees his own standards improve, but he feels upset that he has "made a clown of himself". Nevertheless, his mentors apologise for being hard on him, and commend him for trying hard in what he does. Khai realises that Bumiputras abroad are vital to push up standards of Malaysians.

The end result: The producers of AI3 and AF are happy with their end product, and with Nemo, the mascot of AF for bringing cheer to everyone.

Zainal Alam Kadir (Alam) meets Vince Chong and Khairul Nizam Wahi (Khai) in the hotel lobby on the penultimate day of their visit to New York for the filming of the special edition of American Idol 3. Vince and Khai tell Alam that they both had fascinating adventures in their dreams while exhausted in their hotel rooms the night before.

"It was a marathon. Facing adversity in every corner of the planet. But emerging unscathed. You were at the end of the tunnel with everyone else, Alam,” said Vince.

"My travelling companion for the whole adventure, was Fantasia of AI3, who is just as mighty in facing adversity as me.”

Khai said he had a similar adventure but added that he felt like frail Frodo of Lord of the Rings. He said:

"It was terrible, Alam. Bruised, battered, bloodied. That was me. Everyone else was unscathed, except me.

"I had to keep strong for Nemo, and for everyone on the planet, to survive. It was all a battle of mind over matter. "My travelling companions, and saviours, were the Mexican DeGarmo and the Filipino Trias.

"They kept me, and Nemo, going."

"The former carried Nemo when the going got tough. The latter helped me walk when I was frail and losing blood.”

“Interesting,” Alam said. “I guess your American friends shared the same dreams, too.” Vince said: “Yes indeed. It was very coincidental. Fantasia also shared the same dream."

Khai said: “The same with DeGarmo and Trias. Only Nemo does not dream.”

Vince Chong Ying Cern hereby narrates his vision:

“It is just like those wretched roundabouts you find in KL. They are always partly blocked.

“I am Vince Chong Ying Cern, a Chinese-British Malaysian lost in some remote part of the planet. With me is another lost soul, my African-American team mate Fantasia Barrino.

"All we have in our pockets is a note of paper which reads, “Follow the straight road and don’t give up. Use the power of your mind. You will find light at the end of the tunnel.”

"My team mate tells me that this adventure is something like “Rabbit Proof Fence” meets “Seven Years In Tibet”. Interesting.

"Superhuman strength is required. We have to cross grand canyons, scale icebergs and alpine mountains, brave desert storms and cyclones.

"Even use our powers within to smash huge granite rocks standing as tall as KLCC in front of us.

"It looks impossible but we try. It is all about the mind.

“We both try not to get hurt by simply not thinking about injury. Thank God, we finish our incredible journey unscathed.

“This is like Keanu Reeves and Jada Pinkett inside the Matrix.

“Seriously, I felt very demoralised when I reached a huge mountain of granite standing in our way.

“But my team mate told me, “Vince, it is all in the mind. You can break it down, and so can I.”

“We just focus on the giant rock, and smash it down like never before.

“At the end of the tunnel, is a door that shines bright.

“It is situated right where we began the arduous journey.

“I open it, and find, the real world of our studio.

“Alam is there to greet us. He embraces us.

“How wonderful,” I think. “The pain is over. Freedom at last.”

Khairul Nizam Wahi hereby narrates his vision: “Vince and I had a common adventure. But I must say, Vince is Superman compared to me. I am Khairul Nizam Wahi better known as Khai. From Malaysia’s third largest city, Johor Baru. With me is my faithful white pussycat, Nemo, who is almost a year old. And with me are my fearless team mates, Diana, a bubbly Mexican, and Jasmine, a demure Filipino. As Vince said, we begin our arduous journey at some mysterious Point A, on the far side of the planet. We are armed with nothing save mysterious pieces of paper which read:

“Follow the straight road and don’t give up. Use the power of your mind. You will find light at the end of the tunnel.” “I am fit and able-bodied at Point A. But when we finally arrive at the end of the road, Point A again, I would be frail and constantly haemorrhaging from nose and mouth. Nemo is in good spirits, but at the end of the road, he shivers and meows from time to time. Our beautiful team mates are the only ones who are unscathed. We have to do pretty much the same things Vince and Fantasia did on their mission.

“But in my case, I deteriorate physically. The whole exercise is a test of mind over matter. Whenever I am weak and tired, my team mates tell me, “The universe depends on you. If you don’t make it, everyone will perish. There is one stage where a cyclone flings a zinc roof at my face, and I am badly injured.

“Then, my Filipino team mate presses my wound, and she tells me “Think Wolverine.”

“I discover my remarkable healing powers. “In another stage, we scale very high mountains, and I start bleeding from nose and mouth. I feel very weak. “My Mexican team mate tells me, “You cannot be a bleeder forever. Fight it.” “As I get frailer by the hour, my Filipino team mate helps me walk. My Mexican team mate carries shivering Nemo. “There are times I collapse on the ground, and my Filipino team mate tries to curb my terrible haemorrhaging. “Whenever I spout blood, my cat shivers and turns cold. My Mexican team mate rips part of my T-shirt to blanket Nemo. “Finally, we arrive at the door, back at Point A. I open it, but it zaps me, and I fall to the ground. “My Mexican team mate lifts me up, and I try to open the door again. I touch the handle, and it radiates a force that cleanses all of us. “I am cleansed of all the blood on me. The blood which splashed all over my Filipino team mate’s T-shirt also vanishes without a trace. “Nemo no longer shivers. I cuddle my cat. My team mates also cuddle Nemo, and myself. “Then, Alam opens the door. He embraces all of us. The real world beckons. It is back to the studio in New York.”

Cerpen Two A new vision of Vince, Khai and Nemo without Alam. Our AF guys are meeting all nine American Idol winners.

Vince and Khai are shaking hands with the winners of American Idol’s first, second and third seasons, somewhere in the West. Vince gets to shake hands with the number ones, while Khai gets to shake hands with the number twos and number threes. As usual, Khai has his cat, Nemo, tagging along with him.

The AF guys are having a photo session with the American Idol winners. Vince is to pose with the champions. Khai is to pose with the runners-up. Vince shakes hands with Fantasia, whom he has already met. Fantasia then introduces Vince to Ruben Studdard, the big, strong and friendly African- American champion of American Idol 2. Studdard proceeds to hug Vince. “Ouch!” says Vince. Finally, Vince gets to shake hands with the very first American Idol champion, the attractive Native-British American from Texas, Kelly Clarkson.

“Are you OK, Vince?” Clarkson asks Vince. “I feel groggy,” Vince replies. “Poor you. Let me help you walk,” Clarkson says. She proceeds to help Vince walk into the studio with the other winners. Khai is very happy to shake hands with African-American Justin Guarini, who is the second place winner of American Idol’s first season.

He then shakes hands with handsome British-American Clay Aiken, who won the second place in American Idol 2. Khai proceeds to shake hands with American Idol 3’s second place winner, the feisty Mexican American Diana DeGarmo, whom he has already met. Diana cuddles Khai and congratulates Nemo (Nemo and his mate Lucky have five kittens).

Khai moves on to shake hands with American Idol’s first season’s third placer, the red-haired Native-British American from Texas, Nicole Kibbin, and the second season’s third placer, the African-American Kimberley Locke. He finally shakes hands, and gets hugged, by his distant relative among the American Idols, the cute Filipino Hawaiian lifeguard Jasmine Trias, whom he has already met.

Suddenly, Nemo darts out of Khai’s arms and jumps into Diana’s embrace. “Grrr! Khai geram lah!” Khai grumbles. “Diana always tackle my cat!” “Cool it, Khai! It’s only for a while,” Trias consoles Khai, and strokes his back and hair. Kibbin and Locke, who are standing nearby, also console angry Khai, stroking his back and hair. The trio accompany Khai into the studio, simultaneously calming him down. ends

Cerpen Three The first novel that brings Akademi Fantasia winners into the Idol Fellowship.

Prelude The Idol Fellowship (IF) is a fictitious, informal gathering of American and Malaysian Idols. The top threes of each American Idol (AI) season and the coming Malaysian Idol (MI) top threes are automatic members. Likewise with the top twos of each Akademi Fantasia
(AF) season. Akademi Fantasia is Malaysia’s very own pop talent show.

One season has finished, and the second season is about to see its top winners emerge. At this moment there are nine members in the IF from the American Idols. That is three from each season. There are two members from AF and they are Vince Chong and Khai
(Khairul Nizam) Wahi.

Vince Chong is the number two of the IF, since he is the very first Malaysian Idol to emerge. He is the champion of AF’s first season. The IF’s number one is Kelly Clarkson, the attractive champion of AI’s first season, who is somewhat like a foster sister to Vince in the US. Khai’s Persian cat, Nemo, is the most important character in the IF, because it is through this magical, teleporter cat that the Idols meet each other at different meeting places around the planet.

There are 10 simple rules to follow in the IF, and one of the most important is nobody gets romantically involved (whether same sex or otherwise) with fellow Idols.

The novel Vince Chong and Khai Wahi are anxiously waiting for the winners of the second season of Akademi Fantasia. There are seven finalists, two of whom will make it into the IF. hey are Zahid Baharuddin, Bob Yusop, Linda Nanuwil, Farah Anuar, Adam Saman, Khair Azami and Mas Ghani. Vince and Khai suffer body aches and nose bleeds each time they meet up with their fellow Idols, because they are worried that two of the seven, Bob and Zahid, will challenge Vince as number two of the fellowship.

Vince and Khai once overheard Bob and Zahid joke about knocking Vince off his position as number two of the Idol Fellowship if they won Akademi Fantasia season two. Zahid and Bob both believe that the position of the IF’s president, reserved for the Americans, and the deputy president, reserved for the Malaysians, should be challengeable every time a new bunch of winners comes in.

The other five finalists have pledged their support for Vince’s leadership. Vince believes that the posts of president and deputy president are not negotiable and should be the preserve of the very first American Idol and Malaysian Idol (including Akademi Fantasia Idol) respectively. In his moments of pain and anguish, Vince is comforted and cared for by IF number one Kelly Clarkson and Fantasia Barrino, who is the reigning American Idol.

Both Clarkson and Barrino are Vince’s foster sisters in America. The beautiful Clarkson bears an uncanny resemblance to Vince’s elder sister and manager, Vanessa Chong. Both Clarkson and Barrino tell Vince not to worry about Zahid and Bob, because they will always stand by Vince. In his moments of pain and anguish, Khai is comforted and cared for by his “distant relative” Jasmine Trias, the sweet Filipino-Hawaiian who is the third placer of the third season of American Idol, and by feisty Mexican Diana DeGarmo, who is the second placer of the same season.

DeGarmo is the best friend of Khai’s pet cat in America, and she takes care of Nemo much better than Khai does. Both Trias and DeGarmo are Khai’s foster sisters in the US. They assure Khai that they will always be on his side, supporting his best friend Vince as the deputy president of the IF. Other members of the IF are Ruben Studdard (AI’s second season’s winner), Justin Guarini (AI’s first season’s number two), Clay Aiken (AI’s second season’s number two), Nicole Kibbin (AI’s first season’s number three) and Kimberley Locke (AI’s second season’s number three).

One night, when Vince and Khai are sleeping in their respective homes, they have a dream. This dream is also shared by all members of the IF and the seven AF season two finalists.

Vince’s and Khai’s dream Khai is a mysterious Polynesian warrior known as the Kahuna. He is sitting on some boulders by the sea somewhere in the Pacific. Vince emerges from the sea, Ursula Andress style, and tells Khai:

“Hey! I know you. We must talk.”

Vince introduces himself as the Briton. He tells Khai that both of them are members of the community of Immortals. The time has come for them to vanquish two other Immortals who “want to wreck havoc on the planet”. Immortals can only kill each other by beheading.

The two other Immortals, are known as the Balinese (Zahid) and the Pangiran
(Bob). Pangiran is a Bruneian title meaning Prince. Actually, the Balinese and the Pangiran are not evil, but they think that Vince is a cruel British colonialist who wants to enslave all people of the non-British world.

Khai and Vince confront the Balinese on the island of Komodo, and the Balinese unleashes his pet komodo dragons which spit and badly burn the Kahuna and the Briton. Vince thinks of the Mulu Caves, the largest cave complex in the world. He is teleported there instantly, and meets mighty Keling (Kaer), the ideal Iban warrior.

Keling tells Vince that he will help the Briton defeat the baddies. Khai thinks of the prairies and Rocky Mountains of North America, and ends up there. He meets the Cherokee Wind Spirit, in the form of attractive Texan Nicole Kibbin. Kibbin pledges support to Khai in his fight. But she makes him promise that nobody should be killed.

The Pangiran tracks down Khai, and teleports him to Pontianak, a city in Indonesian Borneo. The Pangiran summons his army of Pontianaks who pounce on Khai and try to suck his blood. “Santubong. Calling Santubong,” Khai mumbles. One of the Pontianaks transforms herself into the Princess of Mount Santubong, and pledges her support for Khai. She is none other than Farah. Another Pontianak becomes Princess Santubong’s elder sister Princess Sejinjang, who was once her enemy but has since made peace with Santubong.

She is in the form of Nurul Hamid, Farah’s closest friend in Akademi Fantasia, who finished eighth this year. The Santubong and Sejinjang princesses use their magic to turn the other Pontianaks into frozen bats.

The Balinese tracks down Vince, and teleports him to the Amazon region. He unleashes a giant anaconda which proceeds to crush Vince in its death grip.

“Any Amazonians around?” Vince mumbles.

Just then, one of them emerges. Attractive Kelly Clarkson is the Amazon Queen. She pledges support for Vince. The Amazon Queen gives Vince the power to melt metal, cause tidal waves, and shatter the ground. She also uses her healing touch to heal a nasty stab wound Zahid inflicted on Vince’s back and abdomen.

Vince proceeds to hunt down the Balinese, and thinks of Africa. In the heart of Africa, the Balinese stands with his pair of swords. Vince tells Zahid, “Are you ready?” Both of them fight it out with their swords, and Vince tries to behead Zahid. Zahid however, cannot get hurt. Vince thinks of an African warrior king, the Kabaka. He appears in the form of Ruben Studdard. The Kabaka pledges support for Vince, and gives him a sword to fight immortals. “No killing, please,” says the Kabaka.

Khai has tracked down the Bruneian to Egypt. Bob emerges from the sands of the desert as Imhotep. Bob causes a sandstorm laced with a plague, to attack Khai. “Oh, mighty Isis,” says Khai. Just then, Isis appears, in the form of honey-coloured babe Kimberley Locke. “I’m with you, Kahuna,” she says. Isis provides Khai with the power of causing sandstorms and plagues, to attack Bob. Vince tracks down Zahid to the summit of South East Asia’s highest mountain, Kinabalu.

Atop the peak, Zahid roars and threatens Vince, calling him a sacrificial white chicken of the Dayaks. Just then, Kadazan fairy Sumandak appears in the form of Linda Nanuwil. She tells the Balinese: “No foul mouths on the sacred mountain.” Zahid’s mouth is sealed by Sumandak.

Bob suddenly finds Khai on the Cocos Islands in Australia. He transforms himself into a giant robber crab. The crab plans to chop off Khai’s head with its giant claw. “Flood us, Queen of the South Seas,” Khai says. Just then, the Javanese Queen of the South Seas emerges. She is in the form of sweet Jasmine Trias. “Help me, Nyai Roro Kidul,” says Khai. “Only if you do not kill anyone,” the queen replies. The queen uses her magical plaster made from the waves to heal a bloody spear wound inflicted on Khai’s back and abdomen by Bob. Khai is given the power of causing tidal waves and the power of freezing the enemy.

He proceeds to cause a tidal wave that sweeps Bob the crab down to Antartica. In Antartica, Bob is frozen. Keling (Kaer) the Iban warrior tracks him down and proceeds to drill a hole in the ice and bury Bob. Vince gets lost in a dark forest somewhere in the Philippines. He looks at the stars, and thinks “Is there any spirit up there?” Suddenly, the celestial Sulu princess Alitaptap, in the form of Mas Ghani, appears.

“I’m with you, Briton. Take this dust. It blinds,” she says. The dust is really a million magical fireflies. Alitaptap is also called the Queen of the Fireflies. Suddenly, a 10-headed dragon appears. The dragon is none other than the Balinese, Zahid. Vince tries to slice off the dragon’s heads, but it is invincible. Just then, Sulu warrior god Khanlaon emerges, in the form of Adam Saman. Khanlaon battles the dragon, and slices all of its heads off. However, the heads re-emerge. Khanlaon summons his pet eagles, and they pluck out the dragon’s eyes. He tries to behead the dragon again, unsuccessfully. "This is no demon, it's an immortal," he says.

Vince throws the packet he received from Alitaptap at the dragon’s head. The fireflies swarm out and cover the dragon. The dragon catches fire and vanishes without a trace. Bob leaps out of his prison in Antartica and picks Khai up from China’s Yangzi River. He flings Khai up to the sun.

Along the way, Khai thinks of Jimi Hendrix. The Roman sun god Apollo emerges, in the form of Justin Guarini. “Brave Maori, I am with you. You have fire in your belly, and I’ll give you extra power,” Apollo says. Vince is now in the forests of England. He has tracked Zahid down to Britain. Zahid fires a golden arrow and it hits Vince.

Vince falls and faints. “Is this Merlin’s forest?” he mumbles. Just then, Merlin appears in the form of Clay Aiken. “These arrows do not kill, but they stun you for a while. Dodge them with my power of turning invisible,” he says.

Khai tracks Bob down to the Greek islands. Bob transforms himself into the Kraken, the sea beast. The Kraken flings Khai across the Mediterranean into the Bermuda Triangle. “I’m lost,” Khai says.

“No, you are not. You are only lost if you think you are,” says a stranger. The stranger turns out to be Diana, the Greek spirit of the moon and the hunt. She comes in the form of, who else, Diana DeGarmo.

“Listen, Kahuna. Within you is the power to change lives. You can control the emotions of your enemy. Use this power and do not kill.”

Diana sends forth the celestial cat, Nemo, to assist Khai. Nemo has the power of seeing evil in every corner of the planet.

Vince tracks Zahid down to Mauritius, a peaceful island in the Indian Ocean.

“I hope he is himself and not any other creature,” he says. Zahid emerges as a giant crocodile from a river. The crocodile swings Vince into the sky with its tal. Vince catches hold of a cliff, and uses his melting powers to melt the crocodile’s teeth. But the crocodile sees its teeth grow again.

“Is Gaia around in Africa?” says Vince.

Gaia, the African earth spirit, appears in the form of Fantasia Barrino. “Briton, we are like ebony and ivory. Proceed with your new found strength,” Gaia says. Vince goes on to stun the crocodile with deadly poison from the palms of his hands. After a while, the crocodile emerges from its sleep, and tries to attack Vince again.

The Kabaka (Ruben), Gaia (Fantasia) and the Amazon Queen (Kelly) emerge. They tell Vince that the greatest power is forgiveness. Vince tells the crocodile, “You are part of me and I forgive you. If you insist on becoming the one Immortal, you will lose your immortality.” Zahid transforms back into the Balinese. He says, “Forgive me, brother. I am with you. This is our planet.”

Khai tracks Bob down into the centre of the Earth. It is a very fiery place. Khai is now using Nemo to find his way around. Bob emerges as a fiery demon. Khai says: “Freeze!” Bob is frozen, again.

But Khai sees his body deteriorating. “I’m melting down here,” he says. The spirits who helped him, namely moon spirit Diana
(DeGarmo), Javanese Queen of the South Seas (Trias), Cherokee Wind Spirit
(Kibbin), Isis (Locke), Apollo (Guarini), and Merlin (Aiken) appear before him.

They tell him that the only way to defeat the enemy is to save him. “His heart knows no goodness. You can only vanquish him by being kind to him,” says Locke. Khai says: “Come back to our world, Bob. I forgive you.” He proceeds to pull Bob in a block of ice back to Sarawak.

Peace at last Vince and Khai shake hands with Zahid and Bob inside the majestic Mulu Caves. The Malaysian spirits, Keling (Kaer), Princess Santubong (Farah), Princess Sejinjang
(Nurul), Khanlaon (Adam), Alitaptap (Mas), and Sumandak (Linda) surround them. Zahid and Bob pledge loyalty to Vince as the lord of all Immortals. ends

Cerpen Four This fiction work is the second novel to celebrate the winners of Akademi Fantasia 2.

On August 14, 2004, the top three winners of Akademi Fantasia season 2 were announced. The champion was Zahid Baharuddin, 24, of Kuala Lumpur. The second and third placers were Sabahans Linda Nanuwil, 20, and Adam Saman, 21, respectively. The trio have just been absorbed into the Idol Fellowship (IF), and IF deputy president Vince Chong has just sent them announcements on their admission via e-mail.

The IF has also absorbed a new member, Azizi Mohamad, who won third place behind Vince Chong and Khairul Nizam Wahi (Khai) in the first season of Akademi Fantasia. The IF originally admitted two winners of Akademi Fantasia per season, but has now decided to admit three winners per season, to standardise the Akademi Fantasia and American Idol admission procedures.

Our story begins in one of the most pleasant cities in Malaysia, Kota Kinabalu, which is the capital city of Malaysia’s easternmost state of Sabah. Asma Ghani (Mas), 23, and Linda Nanuwil
(Linda), 20, sit in Beach Street, Kota Kinabalu, which is the miniature Bintang Walk (Kuala Lumpur’s entertainment district) of Sabah’s state capital. They are sipping their drinks which they ordered from Sugar Bun, the most popular fast food restaurant in town, and which is a meeting place for youngsters in the city. Asma is a Bajau-Bruneian single mother from Tawau, in the east coast of Sabah.

She has two children. Her ancestors were once taken from Sabah to the Cocos Islands in Australia, by planter John Clunies Ross, to work in his plantation. The Cocos Islanders are largely found in Tawau which is the third largest town in Sabah. Linda is a Kadazan or Dusun, from Ranau near Mount Kinabalu. The Kadazans or Dusuns are Sabah’s largest indigenous tribe. The Bajaus and Bruneians are the second and third largest tribes in the state respectively.

Mas is congratulating Linda on winning second place in the contest, and for becoming the first Sabahan to make it to the tops of the contest. Mas finished seventh in the contest. A close friend of Linda and Mas, Adam Saman, from Kota Kinabalu, finished third. He is of Chinese, Bajau, Bruneian and Kadazan ancestry, making him a truly Sabahan entertainer. Linda is informing Mas about the Idol Fellowship which is an informal gathering of the top threes of Akademi Fantasia, American Idol and the coming Malaysian Idol contest.

Mas, Linda and Adam are close friends of Vince Chong (Vince), Khairul Nizam Wahi
(Khai) and Azizi Mohamad, the top three winners of the first Akademi Fantasia season respectively. The Sabahans are aware that Nemo, the mascot of Akademi Fantasia, which is Khai’s pet cat, has magical powers.

If an Akademi Fantasia or American Idol member strokes Nemo, he or she will be united with the top winners of the Malaysian and American talent contests. Nemo teleports IF members to any destination they wish. Membership of IF is conditional on one’s good behaviour. One should not be romantically linked with other members, and one cannot be involved in indecent behaviour.

(Key: ZB = Zahid, LN = Linda, AS = Adam, MG = Mas, KA = Kaer, BU = Bob, ZZ = Zarina, FA = Farah, NH = Nurul, RT = Burn, VC = Vince, KW = Khai, AM = Azizi, KC = Kelly Clarkson, RS = Ruben Studdard, FB = Fantasia, DG = Diana, JT = Jasmine, CA = Clay, NK = Nicole, KL = Kimberley, N = Nemo)

MG: There is nothing like sipping sugar cane juice in Beach Street, KK. LN: I think KK is a beautiful and liveable city, walking up and down KK is simply therapeutic. MG: Linda, do you see what I see? LN: Nemo! Oh, he is cute. So cute. N: Meow!

(Linda picks up Nemo and starts stroking the cat. Suddenly, Khai and Vince appear. The two pretty guys take their seats next to Linda and Mas) VC: Hi, Linda! Hi, Mas! KW: How are you both doing? Congrats to you, Linda. And good show, Mas. VC: Yeah, congrats. LN: Thanks for inspiring me and supporting me all the way, Vince. You are the greatest. MG: How are the American Idols, Vince? VC: You’ll soon be meeting them. KW: Anyone in particular you’d love to meet? MG: My pick would be Fantasia and Kelly. LN: Mine would be Clay, Jasmine and Diana.

(Linda strokes Nemo again. At that moment, Jasmine Trias appears. She taps Khai’s shoulder) KW: Oh, hello, Jas! Meet our distant cousins, Mas and Linda of Sabah. JT: Great to meet you, Linda, Mas. And congrats, Linda. MG: How’s the other Idols getting along, Jas? JT: You’ll be meeting them soon.
(Suddenly, Diana DeGarmo appears behind Khai. She slaps Khai’s back) KW: Ouch! N: Meow! (Nemo leaps into Diana’s embrace) DG: Hi, folks! How’s life? JT: Don’t be rough on Khai, Di.

(Trias strokes Khai’s back. Nemo jumps back into Khai’s embrace) VC: Di, meet our juniors from Akademi Fantasia. This is Mas, from Sabah. This is Linda, also from Sabah. Linda is the second winner for this year. DG: Congrats, Linda. It’s good for Khai and Jas to have a new relative in the Idol Fellowship. Take care of Khai, please, Linda. He can be quite a flirt! JT: Enough please, Di. MG: Mas and Khai very OK. I have no problems with him.
(Mas holds Khai’s hand) LN: Same here.

(Linda also holds Khai’s hand) VC: Actually, Khai has two more relatives in the IF now. There is Zahid the champion and Adam the third placer. DG: Kelly would be here soon.

(Kelly Clarkson appears behind Vince. She pats Vince’s back, and takes a seat next to him) LN: Great to meet you, Kelly. MG: Yeah, it’s so good that you can make it here. I am Mas, from Sabah. This is Linda, also from Sabah. Linda is the second placer this year. KC: Congrats, Linda. This is my first time here. I like the ambience. LN: KK is a very therapeutic city by the sea. VC: How’s Ruben and Fantasia keeping, Kelly? KC: You’ll be meeting them soon. Oh, Vince, you are looking good this evening. VC: I always look good. Linda, Mas, Kelly is my foster sister in the Idol Fellowship. Jasmine and Diana are Khai’s foster sisters in the IF. LN: Kelly, you do have some resemblance to Vanessa Chong, Vince’s attractive elder sister. KC: Thanks. I know Vanessa and have the highest respect for her. She tells me to keep an eye on Vince when he is in the US. Hey, Linda, I think you can be Vince’s foster sister, too, since he has inspired you. VC: We share a lot in common, don’t we, Linda? LN: Definitely (Linda holds Vince’s hand firmly). JT: Did you send me this e-mail, Linda?

(The e-mail reads: “This is Linda from Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia. I think you are really sweet and beautiful. I am so glad you have decided to be Khai’s best friend in America. Both of you are long lost siblings. Please keep an eye on Khai and make sure Khai does not learn to smoke”) LN: Yes, that’s mine. KW: Talking behind my back, eh, Linda. JT: Khai, she’s only trying to be nice (Trias smacks Khai’s hand gently). DG: Well said, Linda. Khai does need looking after. MG: That was not right, Linda. I think you should have gotten Khai’s permission before writing to Jas about Khai. JT: Small matter, Mas. Don’t worry about it. VC: I see you have been sending me an e-mail, Mas.

(Vince reads the e-mail. It says, Vince, I think you are very sweet, cute and cuddly. I would love to meet you) MG: Yes, that’s mine. KC: I fully agree with you, Mas. It could have been me sending that e-mail to Vince.

(Kelly pats Vince’s hand) VC: I think Khai is the Mr Loverboy. He will always be. LN: Yes, he is. That is why we are all very protective of him.

(Mas, Linda, Trias and DeGarmo all put their hands on Khai) KC: Hi, Fantasia. My, you surprise me with your sudden guest appearance. FB: This is my Academy, Kelly. And I want to meet cute Mr Vince. I miss him. VC: Fantasia, meet Linda, the second placer for this year’s Academy. And this is Linda’s fellow Sabahan, Mas. FB: So good to meet you, Linda. Congratulations. Folks, I wish to say that I am honoured to be with all of you tonight. You Malaysians are the best people around. MG: Thanks, Fantasia. You really made my day. FB: Vince, Kelly, all the American Idols and the participants of the first and second seasons of AF are in New York with me. Let’s all meet them now. KC: Okay, folks. Let’s get Nemo.

(The AF and AI participants all stroke Nemo and get teleported to a cafe within a studio in New York. It is the same place where Vince and Khai did their special edition of American Idol with Fantasia, Diana and Jasmine)

Now, on to New York Sitting in the cafe, around several joined tables, are the American Idols Ruben Studdard, Clay Aiken, Justin Guarini, Nicole McKibbin and Kimberley Locke. With them are Vince’s and Khai’s batch of Akademi students namely Azizi Mohamad, Nija Tahar, Liza Ismail, Sahri Sarip, Nurul Hana Mahzan, Rosma Sidik, Rueben Thevandran, Atie Abu Bakar, Adi Fashla Juraimi and Azza Suhaimi.

Reigning AF champion Zahid Baharuddin, third placer Adam Saman, and their fellow students of the second season, Farah Anuar, Bob Usop, Kaer Azami, Nurul Hamid, Zarina Zainoordin, Anding Zaini, Fitri Zainal Abidin and Edlin Rahim are also in the cafe. As soon as the group from KK arrive with Nemo, Zahid and Adam come up to Vince and greet him with handshakes. They also shake hands with Kelly, Fantasia, Diana and Jasmine. The American Idols in the cafe congratulate Linda.

Vince announces that Zahid is one of the new vice-presidents of the Idol Fellowship and he will take his place next to Fantasia and Ruben. Khai announces that Linda and Adam are the new members of the IF runners-up or Ruppies.

The Ruppies’ president is Diana, while Jasmine is deputy president. Khai and Azizi are the vice presidents. Vince announces that Azizi has officially joined the Idol Fellowship belatedly. Azizi says: “Better late than never!” The AI and AF vocalists all applaud Vince, Khai, Azizi, Zahid, Linda and Adam.

VC: I had a wonderful dream about all of you American Idols and the top seven of this year’s AF. Zahid, you were a great sparring partner. I felt that I was Harrison Ford in The Fugitive and you were Tommy Lee Jones. ZB: More like Mortal Kombat and Jet Li movies. KW: I liked Adam’s and Mas’ characters. Adam was the Yang and Mas was the Yin of the Philippines and Bajau mythology. MG: Yes, my Princess Alitaptap was out of the ordinary. I love fireflies. AS: And my Lord Kanloan could do with a magic bottle of carrot juice to keep him actively slaying demons. JT: I think both of you are the El Nino and La Nina of the Philippines. DG: Don’t say that, Jas. You’ll cause a storm. LN: I saved Vince once, though he saves me in real life (Linda holds Vince’s hand). ZB: Your Sumandak could have been a character in Shrek. She is a kindly fairy from the mountains. KC: Okay, I think there is someone we should thank who is not here today. Tell them, Vince. VC: He is Mr Zainal Alam Kadir, a brilliant journalist, entertainer and friend of all AF students. He brought us together. FB: On behalf of the AI vocalists, I would like to say thank you Mr Alam. God bless. AM: On behalf of AF season ones, I say thank you, Mr Alam. You are the greatest. ZB: On behalf of AF season twos, I say thank you, Mr Alam. You rock. KC: Kaer, thanks for performing Sway by Michael Buble. He is great. I’m a big fan and I think he is sexy, though second to Vince (Kelly cuddles Vince). KA: Vince, you are in safe hands in America. BU: Yeah, Vince. I envy you. KC: Linda, could you show me how Halle Berry would greet Vince if she meets him?

(Linda says nothing. She just walks up to Vince, smiles and hugs him passionately. Then, Linda kisses Vince’s cheeks) AM: Yeah, Linda. You rock! CA: I am honoured to meet you guys today. This is my first big meeting with Malaysians. If there is a middle kingdom, you guys are it. AM: Clay, meet my friends from West Malaysia. Here is Azza, Adi Fashla, Rueben, Atie, Rosma, Nurul Hana, Sahri, Liza, and Nija from season one. And this is Edlin, Fitri, Zarina, Kaer and Farah from season two. ZB: Bob and Kaer are budding TV presenters. Fitri is a budding fashion designer. Anding Zaini, who is from Sarawak with Bob and Nurul, is a budding film maker. KW: Zarina, Nija and Nurul Hana are with me from Johor state, the southernmost state in Malaysia. VC: Rueben and I are childhood friends from KL. AM: Rosma and Atie are with me from Pahang state, the third largest state in Malaysia. RS: You folks from Borneo are naturally musical, not unlike the African Americans. Zahid, I hear you also have a Borneo connection and it shows. ZB: My ancestors are Bruneians, just like Bob’s and Nurul’s. I’ll be off on a holiday in Brunei, soon. Maybe that’s a good time to learn about my family history. BU: Vince, Khai, tell me honestly, did any of our friends from the AI kiss you? VC: Yes (Vince points to Kelly and Fantasia). KW: Yes indeed
(Khai points to Jasmine and Diana). ZZ: Well done, Kelly and friends. You are all very sporting and I salute you. I always think Vince and Khai have good screen chemistry with all of you. KA: I like the idea of being Keling the Iban warrior. He brokered peace between Princess Santubong, that’s Farah, and Princess Sejinjang, that’s Nurul, her not-so-kindly elder sister. FA: Yeah, Keling used his powers to change Sejinjang into a kindly sibling of Santubong. NH: Sejinjang and Santubong eventually joined forces to help Vince the Briton fight the Balinese Zahid. ZB: And the Balinese thought Vince was Sir James Brooke. RT: I like the idea of you being Merlin, Clay. You made Vince invisible, like in your song. CA: I am a young Merlin. AM: I think the only character who looked regal was Kimberley as Isis. KL: Who would you have been, Azizi? AM: John Denver, perhaps. NK: You got the hair, Azizi. Nice butterscotch colour to match my ketchup hair (Nicole touches Azizi’s hair). MG: Bob, thanks for being the robber crab. Those creatures from the Cocos Islands fascinate me. BU: I especially enjoyed plucking Khai from the Yangzi River. KW: You were more awesome than Jackie Chan. BU: No, I’m Samo Hung.

(Rosma Sidik chips in and says “Size does not matter”. Nurul Hana, a DJ, remarks that perhaps she should have recorded their conversation and sent it to her radio station. Edlin Rahim comments that Fantasia, Diana and Jasmine fit nicely into Vince’s and Khai’s story) AS: Here’s something for all of you I received for free from Beach Street. (Adam shows his friends a bottle of carrot juice. He serves the drink to everyone) KA: Here’s something for all of you I received for free from Beach Street. I got it from the Gents.

(Diana walks up to Kaer and smacks his hands) KC: Cool it, Di. What have you got there, Kaer? KA: Sorry, folks. It is not what it seems. It is green tea (Kaer serves the green tea to everyone) VC: Guess we’ll have to call it a day now. Once again, congrats to Zahid, Linda and Adam. Welcome to the IF. You, too, Azizi. KC: Listen to Vince, folks. He’s THE man
(Kelly holds Vince’s hand. Fantasia follows suit). JT: And Khai’s the Kahuna, who rules the Pacific
(Jasmine holds Khai’s hand. Diana follows suit). DG: The Kahuna can’t win any war without Diana, Queen of the Hunt. KW: On behalf of Nemo, I would like to say you all have made me very happy. Thanks a million. N: Meow!



Originally posted by Azhari on