Jokes : More Collection

Enjoy reading............

1. Chinaman saw accident.
   He call police but dunno English,
   He said 1 car come, 1 car go,
   1 car bo brake, 1 car bo stop
   2 car ping, ping, piang, piang.
   Please call e or e or. Thank you.



2. America has cowboy and cowgirl,
   England has madcow,
   Hong Kong has Macau,
   Russia has Moscow,
   S'pore has 2 famous cows- 'Cow-peh and cow-bo'



3. When ur life is in darkness......
   Pray 2 God and ask Him 2 free u from darkness..... and If ur still in darkness...
   Pls remember to pay ur TNB bill.



4. Girlfriends r like appetizers,
   They taste better at any time.
   Mistresses r like BBQ, Hot and Spicy
   Can be eaten everyday,
   Wives r like tins of sardines,
   Only 2 be opened when there is nothing else 2 be eaten.



5. Before marriage, she expects a man;
   After marriage she suspects him and
   After death she respects him...



6. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
   You can be sure of one thing;
   Either the car is new or the wife...



7. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her.
   They got married - and now he is going thru hell!



8. A man inserted an advertisement in d classifieds: "Wife Wanted".
   Next day, he received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing.
   "You can have mine!"



9. "What's the matter? U looked depressed."
   "I'm having trouble with my wife"
   "What happened?"
   "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days"
   "But that ought to make you happy"
   "It did. Today is my last day"



10. A girl at 15 is a sur-prise
    At, 25 she's the Right PRIZE.
    At 35, a GRAND PRIZE
    At 45, a CONSOLATION PRIZE
    At 55, she's a DOOR PRIZE
    AND At 65, a GIVEAWAY!



11. Feeling bored?
    Think of me, sad?
    Call me, lonely?
    See me, sleepy?
    Dream of me, Hungry?
    Eat.................... Maggie Mee!!!



12. Last nite, I wanted u. needed u so badly that it hurts. I wanted 2 taste u. I wanted u in me so u could work ur powers on me.
    But I couldn't find u ......... Stupid Panadol!



13. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask......
    Why, why him of all people?
    Ans: Why? Would it rather have been u???



14. When u see someone with evidently short hair: Hey, have u had a hair cut?
    Ans: No, it's Autumn and I'm shedding



15. An angry china man entered a shop and shouted: Where's my free gift with this cooking oil?
    Shopkeeper: What free gift??
    China man: Oi, here got put "Cholesterol FREE!"



16. If u need ADVICE, MSG ME,
    If u need DARLING, CALL ME,
    If u need HELP, E-MAIL ME,
    IF U NEED MONEY, Nombor yang anda dail, tiada dalam perkhidmatan kami, T. Kasih.



17. Sending u a musical x'mas SMS......
    Loading.........20%..............90%.............. Done
    No sound??? Ooops! It must be playing "Silent Night"

Originally posted by Atzzz on