Jokes : Have a break...enjoy these

Have a good laugh .....
- watie


War

In war soldiers get injured, right? Here's how different races exclaim:

When the BRITISH got shot - OH MY GOD.....!!!!
When the MALAY got shot - YA ALLAH....!!!
When the INDIAN got shot - AH-YOYO AMMAH...!!!
But when the CHINESE Hokkien got shot, they go - NABUEH CHEE BYE, TIOK LIAO...!!!!


Signal for sex

Man marries deaf girl. He mimes to her: "Let's make a signal code if we want sex?" She nods and agrees. So he goes: "If I want sex, I'll squeeze your bre! ast. In response you can shake my penis once for "yes" and 50 times for "no"....


Smart Thambi

Thambi ask hooker how much for sex? She says: $50 on bed, $20 on sofa and $10 on grass.

He then hands her $50. She says: "You man of class, one time on bed...?"

He says: "NO!! 5 times on grass...."


Comfort in Friendship

"Friends" are like underwear; always a comfort... "Go od friends" are like condoms; always protecting... "Great friends" are like viagra; lift you up when you're down ...


New drink from Malaysia

The Malaysian government has approved the release of a new drink made with cutting edge technology. It's a combination of Horlicks, Milo Kopi & Teh. It's called - "LICKMYKOTEH"....


Biology Lesson

Teacher: A man's penis has 2 key functions: Urination & Reproduction.

Student: But my dad uses it to brush our maid's teeth.


Positive thinking

Positive thinking is like this.... A little bird flies up in the sky; you look up and it shits in your eye... But you ! don't mind and you don't cry... But you thank God that cows don't fly. ....


Government job

A guy goes to interview for a Government job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you a veteran?" The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam."

"Good," says the interviewer, "That counts in your favor. Do you have any service-related disabilities?" The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion removed my private parts so they declared me disabled, it doesn't affect my ability to work, though."

"Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you, I can hire you right now ! Our working hours are 8 to 4. Come on in about 10, and we'll get you started." The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come at 10?"

" Well, here at the government, we don't do! anything but sit around and scratch our balls for the first two hours . No point of your coming in for that !"


Why women talk so much

A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men. Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results.

It read: "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000."

The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband, "It's because we have to repeat everything we say." The husband said, "What?"






Originally posted by Watie on